And That's How the Fight Started...

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive. So, I took her to a gas station. And that's how the fight started....

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Lite for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream. And that's how the fight started....

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt." So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me," and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too!" And that's how the fight started….

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, "Do you know her?" "Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since." My wife says, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" And that's how the fight started....

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!" So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?" And that's how the fight started....

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can
order for herself." And that's how the fight started..

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

> -------------------------
>
> BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was
> time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
>
> JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road
> because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and
> dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the
> road...
>
> SARAH PALIN: BECAUSE, PRAISE JESUS, I WAS GONNA SHOOT HIS
> SORRY LIBERAL ASS OFF FOR BLOCKING MY VIEW OF RUSSIA!
>
> HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped
> that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes
> me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that
> every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to
> cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
>
> GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken
> crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on
> our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against
> us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
>
> DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
>
> COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can
> clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the
> road.
>
> BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
> What is your definition of crossing?
>
> AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
>
> JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the
> road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross,
> and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am
> not for it now, and will remain against it.
>
> AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some
> black chickens.
>
> DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken
> won't realize that he must first deal with the problem
> on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on
> the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him
> realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
> current problems before adding new problems.
>
> OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having
> problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad.
> So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and
> take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give
> this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road
> and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
>
> ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a
> chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to
> the other side of the road.
>
> NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's
> guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
>
> PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking
> American.
>
> MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that
> chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmers
> Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain
> level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
>
> DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it
> with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it
> crossed I've not been told.
>
> ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
>
> JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you
> people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the
> other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you
> eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott
> all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the
> liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases
> like the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the
> road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
>
> GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken
> crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the
> road, and that was good enough.
>
> BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few
> moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the
> first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a
> serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
> lifelong dream of crossing the road.
>
> ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
>
> JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing
> roads together, in peace.
>
> BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will
> not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
> documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is
> an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much
> more stable and will never crash.
>
> ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or
> did the road move beneath the chicken?
>
> COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Saving Money

Specialty sites help you save money

10/11/2008

In these tough times, we’re all looking for ways to stretch our dollars. Gas prices are high, and the cost of food is increasing. Reducing luxuries may not be enough to help you meet your budget.

Fortunately, the Web can help us make the most of our dollars. Sites can find the lowest prices on items. Others provide good old coupons!

Price comparison sites

Some Web sites offer better prices than others. So, how do you find the best prices online? Price comparison sites!

Price comparison sites list prices from various stores. You don’t need to visit a number of e-tailers to find the best deals.

Three such sites are Pricegrabber.com, NexTag.com and Shopping.com. They are most helpful if you already know what you want to buy. Simply enter the item and in return, you’ll see a list of online retailers offering the product.

You can sort them by price or the stores’ ratings. Shoppers’ reviews determine the ratings. I’d rather pay a little more and buy from a well-rated store. Doing business with a disreputable store is no way to save money.

Don’t rely on positive reviews solely. Read the negative reviews to understand problems other shoppers have encountered. When you’ve made your decision, click through to purchase the product.

Or use this information to your advantage offline. Many brick-and-mortar stores will match or even beat prices found online. Take your best price to a store and ask to speak to a manager.

Coupon codes

Online stores don’t accept coupons, do they? Wrong! Many online stores like Amazon accept coupon codes. These are the electronic equivalent of coupons.

When you check out, you simply enter the code. The price is automatically adjusted to reflect your savings.

Coupon codes often give you free shipping. But, some coupon codes will give you 10 percent or more off your order.

Retailers usually offer coupon codes to loyal customers. But, that doesn’t mean you can’t take advantage of them.

Retailers know that coupon codes may be shared with others. They see this as a way to draw in new customers.

A number of sites list coupon codes. Try CouponCabin.com, RetailMeNot.com and CurrentCodes.com. Enter the name of a retailer to find applicable coupons. Or, browse by retailer category. You may even find printable coupons that can be used at local stores.

Local coupons

These days, you’ll find a wide range of products online. Even food and other household products are available. But you will want to buy perishables locally. Fortunately, Web sites offer coupons you can use locally.

Your first stop should be your local newspaper’s site. You can find advertising circulars, just as you would in the newspaper. Some sites even offer coupons you can print out. Redeem them at local businesses.

Google also has incorporated local coupons into Google Maps. However, they can be difficult to find. So, try a special link that will list the coupons available in your area. You can search through the coupons to find ones that will help you.

These aren’t the only places you’ll find coupons that can be used locally. A number of sites feature printable coupons.

Valpak is an instantly recognizable name in coupons. On Valpak.com, you’ll find coupons in a variety of categories.

Begin by entering your ZIP code. A list of coupons will appear, separated by category. Categories include auto, beauty, food and restaurant coupons. Click a coupon to view it. If you want use it, print it. Redeem it at the local business.

Other sites to try are CoolSavings.com and WOW-Coupons.com.

 

 

 

 

This is a awesome story…

Oct 05, 2008
The Norwegian newspaper VG has reported a truly amazing story about a newly-wed trying to get to Norway to be with her husband, and the stranger who helped pay an unexpected luggage surcharge. The blog 'Leisha's Random Thoughts' has translated the story.
It was 1988, and Mary Andersen was at the Miami airport checking in for a long flight to Norway to be with her husband when the airline representative informed her that she wouldn't be able to check her luggage without paying a 100 dollars surcharge:


When it was finally Mary's turn, she got the message that would crush her bubbling feeling of happiness.
-You'll have to pay a 103 dollar surcharge if you want to bring both those suitcases to Norway, the man behind the counter said.


Mary had no money. Her new husband had travelled ahead of her to Norway, and she had no one else to call.
-I was completely desperate and tried to think which of my things I could manage without. But I had already made such a careful selection of my most prized possessions, says Mary.


As tears streamed down her face, she heard a 'gentle and friendly voice' behind her saying, 'That's okay, I'll pay for her.'


Mary turned around to see a tall man whom she had never seen before.


-He had a gentle and kind voice that was still firm and decisive. The first thing I thought was, Who is this man?
Although this happened 20 years ago, Mary still remembers the authority that radiated from the man.
-He was nicely dressed, fashionably dressed with brown leather shoes, a cotton shirt open at the throat and khaki pants, says Mary.


She was thrilled to be able to bring both her suitcases to Norway and assured the stranger that he would get his money back. The man wrote his name and address on a piece of paper that he gave to Mary. She thanked him repeatedly. When she finally walked off towards the security checkpoint, he waved goodbye to her.
Who was the man?


Barack Obama.


Twenty years later, she is thrilled that the friendly stranger at the airport may be the next President and has voted for him already and donated 100 dollars to his campaign:


-He was my knight in shining armor, says Mary, smiling.
She paid the 103 dollars back to Obama the day after she arrived in Norway. At that time he had just finished his job as a poorly paid community worker* in Chicago, and had started his law studies at prestigious Harvard university.


Mary even convinced her parents to vote for him:
In the spring of 2006 Mary's parents had heard that Obama was considering a run for president, but that he had still not decided. They chose to write a letter in which they told him that he would receive their votes. At the same time, they thanked Obama for helping their daughter 18 years earlier.


And Obama replied:
In a letter to Mary's parents dated May 4th, 2006 and stamped 'United States Senate,

Washington DC', Barack Obama writes:

'I want to thank you for the lovely things you wrote about me and for reminding me

of what happened at Miami airport. I'm happy I could help back then, and I'm delighted

to hear that your daughter is happy in Norway. Please send her my best wishes.

Sincerely, Barack Obama, United States Senator'.


The parents sent the letter on to Mary.
Mary says that when her friends and associates talk about the election, especially when race relations is the heated subject, she relates the story of the kind man who helped out a stranger-in-need over twenty years ago, years before he had even thought about running for high office.


Truly a wonderful story, and something that needs to be passed along.



Happy Friday!



nan@brainybetty

Obama's Random Act of Kindness - Urban Legends

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